When your child is having a meltdown, it is easy to feel like yelling at them or disciplining them. However, meltdowns are a sign that your child is having BIG feelings. When you feel tempted to react negatively, take a second to think about what feelings may be causing this meltdown.
If you take the chance to teach your child about the emotions they are feeling, they will be more understanding of their feelings and will be more sensitive to others’ emotions. A great place to start is by being present and attentive to your child.
A great example is a common scenario- your child is upset because they can’t have something that they want. They may be feeling sad or mad or a mix of both. The immediate response may be to yell back and send them to their room. If you stop to think about how they are feeling, you can turn the situation around by validating those feelings.
Let your child know you are aware of their emotions- validate them. Say something like “I know that you are sad you can’t have the toy.” It helps them to know you want to talk about how they are feeling.
Then, help them work it out. Teach them that they can work through it, that they don’t have to feel stuck. You could say “I know you want the toy, but we can’t get it right now. We can make a plan together to be able to get it in the future.”
When it comes down to it, the core of it all is teaching your child empathy. As you validate their feelings, they learn to validate the feelings of others.
Today, there is an epidemic of praise. While praising children CAN be good, we have become too accustomed to saying “good job” to everything. Children need to have their confidence boosted in the right way. In my Parenting Skills course, we completed an activity that I felt was beneficial for me and I would like to share. We discussed how to properly praise children of different ages so that it encourages good behavior and builds the child’s confidence.
“Although most parents and educators agree that some praise, or, more precisely, “positive encouragement,” is critical to developing children’s self-esteem, the keys are to limit it, to keep it focused, and to be honest with it.” (Pocock, 2017)
1-2 Years Old
Descriptive Praise
I am proud you can put your shoes on by yourself!
I am pleased that you played without touching the blinds.
I can see you are working hard to learn the shapes!
Appreciative Praise
You asked nicely. I love to give you treats when you ask nicely.
You shared with your brother. You made him very happy!
You did not take your diaper off during nap time. We are happy that you and your room stayed clean.
3-6 Years Old
Descriptive Praise
I’m impressed that you got dressed by yourself!
I am proud of you for clearing your plate when you were done eating.
I am pleased with your effort in keeping your teeth cavity free.
Appreciative Praise
I am grateful you helped me with laundry. You helped me finish the laundry faster.
You picked up your toys and put them in the right place. When the floor is clean, it makes me happy.
You went down for a nap without yelling. You helped your brother be able to sleep too.
7-11 Year Olds
Descriptive Praise
I am proud of the patience you had with teaching your brother.
I love that you listened very well.
I am impressed that you did the dishes with a positive attitude.
Appreciative Praise
Thank you for sharing with your sister. That made her happy.
You took out the garbage without complaints. That helps us to keep our home clean and sanitary.
You put away your clean clothes as soon as you brought them to your room. It helps me know what is clean and what needs to be washed.
12-17 Years Old
Descriptive Praise
I am proud of the hard work you put in to improve your piano playing.
I am impressed by your diligence in learning to drive a car. I know it has been frustrating for you.
I am pleased with the time you have dedicated to cleaning your room.
Appreciative Praise
You worked really hard on the garden. That will help it to grow vegetables that will be delicious to eat!
You have made a good effort to clean up after yourself this week. It makes me happy to have a clean home.
You kept working on your homework when it got hard. You will feel great when the hard work helps you pass the test.
I have been trying to change the way I praise my two-year-old son and I have seen a difference (as much of a difference as I can with a two-year-old). For example, he was getting frustrated because he wanted to put the dustpan for his little kids’ broom on the broom (it attaches to the broom). He wanted me to do it for him, but instead I encouraged him to try it himself. He figured it out and I said “thank you for trying to do it on your own. That was a great effort”. He was so proud of himself!
If you are struggling to come up with ways to properly praise your child, try coming up with some ahead of time. It is important to avoid bribing and instead help them become self-motivated. Make sure to use a calm voice and focus on being descriptive about what they did well.
While parents are all unique and individual, professionals have observed and found patterns in the styles of parenting that parents tend to develop. This post is not meant to shame or categorize parents, but rather to share some things I have learned about parenting styles and what they mean to me as a mother.
According to Raymond Brogan (who wrote an article on parenting styles for Excelsior College), Diana Baumrind is a psychologist who has studied the styles. At the core of her findings on parenting styles are three styles: authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. (Brogan, 2019)
Baumrind noted on the relationship between parenting styles and standards and communication. For example, authoritative parents have high levels of communication and high standards and it is out of love for their child. (Brogan, 2019) I
also like to think of it with high support. They may have expectations for their child, but they support their child in meeting them.
Disclaimer: This blog post contains affiliate links. I may earn a small commission to fund my craft addiction if you use these links to make a purchase. You will not be charged extra, and you’ll keep me entertained. It’s a win for everyone, really.
We’ve lived in spall spaces pretty much our whole marriage. We had a one bedroom apartment, lived in someone’s basement twice, and then lived on the top floor of our house and rented out the basement. That means space-saving was essential!
We have two under two, which has forced us to be a little creative with our space. We learned quickly what works and what doesn’t. Of course, all of these items I am suggesting worked for us, and I hope they will work for you! I’ve always found that the less I have, the happier I am with what I do have.
There are so many baby products that everyone wants you to believe you MUST have, but in reality, you can get by with just a few necessities. This feels better both mentally (less stuff to clean and store) and financially (spend less).
I got a lot of our baby stuff from thrift stores, so I always suggest to look at Kid to Kid (our local children’s thrift) or whichever is close to you. You save lots on nice items and can get more for less. I also am a huge fan of hand-me-downs! When you can get a bag of clothes for free, it can save you $20, $50, even $100 or more on baby clothes. Why spend hundreds on clothes your child will wear for about a week?
On items that you can’t find at a thrift store or as a hand-me-down, there are lots of options. I’ll link all my favorites! I usually stick to sales and discounts. Alright, I am going to share some of my favorite products that I have used with Buggy and Bean!
Sleep
Sleepsacks are hands-down my favorite baby sleep product. They keep baby warm, they’re easy to find online or at a thrift store, and have many options.
This was my son’s favorite in the winter. It is perfect for a baby that prefers to be swaddled. Halo also has an option without the swaddle that is awesome!
Another (more affordable) winter option to keep baby warm is from Carters. It is the most used sleepsack for both my boys and is comfy and easy to throw over a onesie.
I also have liked their other option for warmer weather- thin fabric without sleeves. This works over a onesie as well, and are affordable.
Highchair
Another life-saver for us is our Ingenuity baby seat. In a small space, having multi-use items just make sense. This seat can be strapped to a chair as a high chair, has a cushy insert that is like a bumbo, and the tray stores in the seat itself. It’s easy to clean, easy to store, and is affordable.
Pack and Play
Our pack and play has been an absolute lifesaver! We use it when we go camping, for spontaneous naps at friends’ houses, or we have used it as a crib while we have been in the middle of moving. It has so many uses. I am always a Graco fan, but you can’t go wrong with some of the less expensive pack and plays.
Helmets on babies aren’t just for looks (though they’re the cutest!).
Here’s Bean’s story:
We noticed around 3 months that his head had a bit of a lump on the back right side. We tried to keep him off his head, strapping him onto ourselves or holding him most of the time. We mentioned it to his pediatrician, and that’s when the ball got rolling.
She diagnosed him with plagiocephaly, which is a fancy word that just means a flat head. She also explained that it wasn’t my fault (though, it’s hard to accept!).
We then received a referral to a pediatric physical therapist. She checked him out, and decided that his plagiocephaly wasn’t a result of tightness in his neck. He just prefers to turn his head to the left! Because of this preference, the left side of his head was flat.
Since there was no tightness, stretching in physical therapy wouldn’t make a difference. We had activities she gave us to help him practice turning right, but we couldn’t do much. We waited a few months, and then his doctor decided it was time to get him in to an orthotics clinic. His therapist gave us a list of clinics to choose from, so it came down to calling insurance to see which clinics they cover. A few important things to remember before choosing a clinic:
I will ALWAYS suggest to work with a provider, communicate with your insurance, and ask ALL the questions. This can save you from lots of financial stress or confusion in the future.
We went in for a consult after deciding on a clinic based on recommendations from the PT and insurance, and sat down to discuss options. He measured Bean’s head, and the most important measurements were the diagonal distance (left forehead to right back of head, and vice versa). The difference between these two numbers is what was used to decide that Bean was eligible for a helmet. After that, he did some scans and we were on our way.
About two weeks later, we went back and the helmet was ready. He put it on Bean, and adjusted some parts that didn’t fit quite right. Once he was done, he brought it back and it fit perfectly.
I had assumed that he would wear it right then, but I was given a schedule to follow to wean him into wearing it. We started with one hour on, one hour off, easing into naps and eventually bedtime. After a week, he was wearing it 23 hours on, 1 hour off.
I know it seems so daunting. I was so nervous at first!, but now I barely even notice it. Bean doesn’t mind wearing it, which I’m surprised about since it’s been 90 degrees or hotter everyday and he gets sweaty. In the hour that he has it off, I usually take a cold baby wipe and wipe his head to cool him off. To be silly, we let him keep the wipe on his head and he loves it!
If you’re worried about the money aspect, take control by calling insurance and saving up a little. If it’s an option, get a flex spending or at least start setting aside some funds to cover the cost. With our insurance, our portion was under $1,000 and the no insurance/ cash payment amount would have been $2,000. It entirely depends on the clinic. You’ll get an estimate in the first appointment, so just (as always) ask questions.
The best part of the helmet: decorating! We got a white one so we can decorate it soon, but they also have different colors or patterns to choose from. Have fun, and make the best of the situation.
I haven’t received criticism for choosing the helmet, but I have had people tell me their child’s head was flat but they were fine without it, and I’ve heard of people who weren’t supportive. If you and your pediatrician believe it’s the right choice, don’t let others bully you into doubting yourself! I will never regret taking care of this early while it’s still an option so my son can grow up without an uneven forehead, a misshapen back of his head, or having his ears get even more misaligned.
It’s been an interesting experience, but Bean sure looks ADORABLE in his helmet and I know it was the right choice.
Disclaimer: This blog post contains affiliate links. I may earn a small commission to fund my craft addiction if you use these links to make a purchase. You will not be charged extra, and you’ll keep me entertained. It’s a win for everyone, really.
It may just be me, but when I find out a friend is having a baby, I get so excited to pick out a gift! When you are the one who is expecting, the list of things you need for your little one will get pretty long, even if you want to keep it minimal.
A registry is the perfect way to let your friends and family know what you need and what you like! Even better, you can pick out specific brands or colors you like.
The link below will take you to create an Amazon registry. I love Amazon for my registries because they have the largest selection, they ship free and you get a discount to purchase anything that is left in your registry! You also get a free baby box with cute items!
The Perry People 